Funny Quotes - Laugh Quotes
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Laughter is the best medicine or so they say...therefore I decided to include some funny quotes on the site to give you a good chuckle!
I'm positive that you'll find something good here, as I've included: Funny Love Quotes, Funny Movie Quotes and Funny Life Quotes. I also have listed some random "Made me Giggle" quotations that put a smile on my face.
If you are looking for a pick-me-up good hearted laugh, then you have come to the right place- Enjoy these Humorous sayings!
Funny Love Quotes
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."- Albert Einstein"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him."- Cher
"I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them."- Mae West
"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby."- Natalie Wood
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell."- Joan Crawford
"Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house."- Jean Kerr
"I'm always looking for meaningful one night stands."- Dudley Moore
"Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another."- Henry Louis Mencken
"An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."- Agatha Christie
"I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste."- David Bissonette
"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."- Unknown
"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him."- Oscar Wilde
Funny Movie Quotes
"She wrote me a 'john-deere' letter... something about me not listening enough, I don't know... I wasn't really paying attention." (Dumb & Dumber)"Evil will always prevail, because good is dumb." (Spaceballs)
"If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown flush it down... Opps, looks like I forgot my own rule!" (Meet the Fockers)
"You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater." (Austin Powers: Goldmember)
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I." (What about Bob?)
"The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need! My name in print! That really makes somebody! Things are going to start happening to me now." (The Jerk)
"Yeah...I'm going to need you to come in on Sunday" (Office Space)
Funny Life Quotes
"Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep."- Carl Sandburg"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."- Oscar Wilde
"The cost of living's going up, and the chance of livin's going down."- Flip Wilson
"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."- Woody Allen
Random "Make me Giggle" Quotes!
"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."- Robert Bloch"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."- Oscar Wilde
"A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink."- W.C. Fields
"Oh, you hate your job ? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."- Drew Carey
"Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."- Steven Wright
"Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried."- Mae West
"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."- Bertrand Russell
Please
come back and visit, as additional Funny Quotes will be added!
See you Soon!
This Page was last updated on: July 9, 2008 @ 11:26pm EST
See you Soon!
This Page was last updated on: July 9, 2008 @ 11:26pm EST
Accuracy Statement: The quotations compiled and information that I present are based on personal experience, seminars that I have attended and research that I have done. I promise that every effort is made to keep this site clean and simple to use, as well as provide accurate content giving credit where credit is due. When making reference to a citation (otherwise known as a "quote"), it is best to include the original source or author.
All quotations remain the intellectual property of their respective originators. I do not assert any claim of copyright for individual quotations. All use of quotes and citations is done under the fair use copyright principal.